Dealing with Goodbye
Marci • August 16, 2013
guest post by Ronda Payne, Girl with a Pen
This one is particularly timely today as we said good-bye to our 18 year old cat Sierra. Thank you to my friend Ronda Payne for sharing.
A few weeks ago, the amazing dog who had lived with me for 10 ½ years passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. The vet figures it was a stroke, and the fact is, my one-of-a-kind girl was almost 15.
Despite the fact that she’d live a full and happy life the loss left my heart cleaned and gutted for a few days, but I was surprised at how quickly I recovered. Sure, I am still sad and miss her terribly, but the mourning became manageable, almost minor.
Why? I wondered. I’d been inconsolable in the past when a precious four-legged companion passed away. What was different this time?
While I’m happy I can mourn my beautiful dog without being overcome by it, I explored why the grief in losing this special animal has been easier than expected. I came up with three reasons:
1. There are other pets in the house.
While multiple animal companions aren’t possible in every household, I’m lucky that we anticipated this day and added a second dog to the pack. By having another dog, and the cat, the house isn’t empty of animal love and we grieve together.
2. I let it out while recalling the good things.
I’m not holding back my tears. When they come, I cry fully and completely. But, when I was feeling overwhelmed by the grief, I balanced that with one of the many amazing memories I have of that fantastic dog.
3. I remind myself I loved her as much as I could in the time we had.
There was nothing more I could have done with that dog. I loved her as completely and fully as I possibly could. I miss her, but I have not regrets about how our time together was spent.
Grief is hard and losing an animal companion can take a long time to recover from. I found that by having other pets in the house, letting the sadness out while recalling the good things and reminding myself of how much love we shared, losing the dog I loved for more than a decade was just a little bit easier.
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Chances are, buying a home is one of the most important financial decisions you’ll make in your life. And as mortgage financing can be somewhat confusing at the best of times, to alleviate some of the stress and to ensure your home purchase goes as smoothly as possible, here are six very high-level steps you should follow. While it might seem like the best place to start the home buying process is to browse MLS on your phone and then contact a Realtor to go out and look at properties, it’s not. First, you’re going to want to work with a licensed independent mortgage professional. When you work with an independent mortgage professional, instead of working with a single bank, you’ll be working with someone who has your best interest in mind and can present you with mortgage options from several financial institutions. The second step in the home buying process is to put together a mortgage plan. Unless you have enough money in the bank to buy a home with cash, you’re going to need a mortgage. And as mortgage financing can be challenging and not so straightforward, the best time to start planning for a mortgage is right now. Don’t make another move until you discuss your financial situation with an independent mortgage professional. It’s never too early to start planning. As part of your mortgage plan, you’ll want to figure out what you can afford on paper, assess your credit score, run some financial scenarios, calculate mortgage payments, and have a clear picture of exactly how much money is required for a downpayment and closing costs. You’ll also be able to discuss which mortgage product is best for you, considering different mortgage terms, types, amortizations, and features. Now, what you qualify to borrow on paper doesn’t necessarily mean you can actually afford the payments in real life. You need to consider your lifestyle and what you spend your money on. Understanding your cash flow is the key. Make a budget to verify you can actually afford your proposed mortgage payments and that you have enough funds to close on the mortgage. No one wants to be house-poor or left scrambling to come up with funds to close at the last minute. If everything looks good at this point, the next step will be to get a preapproval in place. Now, a pre-approval is more than just typing some numbers into a form or online calculator; you need to complete a mortgage application and submit all the documents requested by your mortgage professional. Only proceed with looking at properties when you’ve been given the green light from your mortgage professional. When you’ve found a property to purchase, you’ll work very closely with your mortgage professional to arrange mortgage financing in a short period of time. This is where being prepared pays off. As you’ve already collected and submitted many documents upfront during the preapproval process, you should be set up for success. However, remain flexible and provide any additional documentation required by the lender to secure mortgage financing. Once you have firm lender approval and you’ve removed conditions on the purchase agreement, don’t change anything about your financial situation until you have the keys. Don’t quit your job, don’t take out a new loan, or don’t make a large withdrawal from your bank account. Put your life into a holding pattern until you take possession of your new home. So there you have it, six steps to ensuring a smooth home purchase: Work with an independent mortgage professional. Put together a mortgage plan. Figure out what you can actually afford. Get a pre-approval. Provide the necessary documentation. Don’t change anything about your financial situation until you take possession. If you’d like to discuss your personal financial situation and find the best mortgage product for you, let’s work together. We can figure out a plan to buy a home as stress-free as possible. Please connect anytime; it would be a pleasure to work with you.
LET'S TALK
MARCI DEANE
MORTGAGE BROKER
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The first step is to start a conversation with me.
